Now having a ''TRUE'' friend is almost as rare as a Shiny pokemon. Seriously, I've been honestly trying my hardest to make new friends, keep up with the old ones as much as possible. But nope. they all still hate me as much as a human being possibly can. I made couple new friends last year, who were ''popular'' in certain game-fandoms, and now what had happened? They don't talk to me at ALL, I know they said that they're shy people too, and they don't always have the ''guts'' to come talk to me first (or to anybody else) but hey, news flash, I'm scared too, so that makes two of us, and usually two ''scared'' people isn't a good match, i mean yeah, I usually talk to others when I have things to talk about. but how often is that? RARELY, cuz I have a LOTS of things to talk about with so many people, but do I have the guts to talk to anybody since I'm scared that they'll turn their backs to me or ignore me, No. I do not.
The ONLY TWO people from my... 12-14 friends friendlist I talk to, is my ''big sister'' Halowing
and my Fiancee MordySketchies
Those are the ONLY TWO people I have guts to talk about ANYTHING, and also, whenever they AFK or something, THEY TELL ME. And if they're not online for a long time, THEY TELL ME. I'm no mind reader so how the hell you'd expect me to know when something is happening, or you just won't be on in skype for a week, or a month? I'm not pointing any fingers towards anybody here now. I haven't said ANY NAMES out loud (aside from Halo and Mordy) But please people, if you know, that your new friend is Shy or doesn't have the ''guts'' to talk to ANYBODY new or to any of your friend, try to courage them! That's what they need! If they say for example that ''I don't want to talk to them, i want to talk with you'' TAKE A HINT. Don't FORCE them to. I've made that mistake twice and it ended in two ways, ONE, the people I said ''go talk to her/him'' IGNORED ME FOR GOOD. And the second one ended by, just them becoming BFF's and IGNORING ME.
And that's why I'm so fucking scared to make new friends or introducing people to eachothers anymore. and this is why! I'm scared as fuck, but I'm also scared that I'll steal you from your friends, or some of your friends from you, I don't want to be the asshole who people laugh at or plans on killing. (Oh yeah, been there)
So please people, Read this journal at LEAST twice and think about it. It's all I ask, from 5 minutes to 15 minutes of your time, it's not long, but you won't get it back.
I've spoken and now I go cry into the corner of how shitty person I am, ta-taa~~